“Let Them Fight” – Godzilla 2014 Unleashed Next Week
By Mysterious Movie Critic
Hi-diddly-ho movie fans, MMC here. In my last installment you were provided an insider’s view of what will assuredly be the box office smash of the season, Godzilla. As one of your primary sources for reliable analysis of the 
happenings on the big screen, be assured that many a film has been reviewed recently. I would liken as a grouping the dozen or so films of late reviewed to watching an entire season of Acapulco H.E.A.T., the 1990s series that followed the Hemisphere Emergency Action Team [H.E.A.T.], a group of top-secret agents based in Acapulco, Mexico and recruited by a secret government coalition, to fight terrorism and international crime. The team kept a low profile, by acting as models and photographers who represented a beach fashion enterprise. Yes, as a collective, they have been this bad.
A movie reviewer should have similar qualities found in legendary tug boat operator Merril Stubbing. The good captain understood that his responsibilities extended beyond flashing his million dollar smile and ensuring that “Doc” Brichter and Issac focused on more than skillfully wooing the lady folk. Stubbing recognized that he held in his capable paws the welfare and hawk like oversight of his passengers, providing safe passage through choppy waters while subtly piercing with the arrow of Cupid his magic potion on suspecting couples seeking romance.
As your Captain Stubbing, I have prepared for you as a recommendation backed by my Rock Solid Guarantee (copy write, MMC) safe passage of your hard earned dollars from your wallet to the cheerful ticket taker at which ever theatre is fortunate enough to offer Godzilla for your viewing pleasure. Once planted comfortably in your chair, popcorn in hand, it is recommended you ready yourself for the pulsation of terror brought to you by the 350 foot walking, talking, hulking – foot stomping, city romping, new underwear prompting behemoth.
Information on the film had been slow to produce but sources close to this reviewer have provided more than ample footage of what will be a two hour voyage of massive chaos and destruction. Speculation earlier about how the rowdy reptilian reveler of roar comes aboard these here United States has run the gamut but without divulging too much, suffice it to say he will be visiting not in hopes of finding a love connection but to tear apart the carefully guarded MUTOs, who may have been unleashed because of Man’s hubris. As seen in the latest and final installment full length preview, the issuance of “let them fight”, skillfully delivered by movie icon Ken Watanabe (“The Last Samurai,” “Inception”), sets the stage for what historians will argue may be the most significant moments ever captured on film.
Since the initial teaser was released several months ago, it has become clear that this will not be another cheesy and sloppy effort from Hollywood to rip you off with a terribly acted and horrendously scripted waste of film sprinkled in with boring computer generated ghouls and goblins. Finally, a worthy film will encapsulate just what Blue Oyster Cult foretold in 1977….“With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound, he pulls the spitting high tension wires down. Helpless people on a subway train, scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them”. On May 16th, you will have an opportunity to see what all of the fuss is about.
To this I say, bon voyage on your trip to the theatre. If you run into Gopher, tell him I said hi.
